When plans don’t go to plan

By Christian Varga. , in Poland, United Kingdom

I wanted to keep this blog in chronological order. I thought It’d make more sense that way. However, considering I’m writing these stories 9 months after they’ve happened, that’s a lot of time to wait if I want to get something out of the way now. And today, I do. So fuck it, let’s see what happens if we mix things up a bit.

I’ve been told many times that I’d encounter tough times during travels and the most important thing is to accept the feelings and stick it out. And yesterday is a complete ode to that advice. This is how the story goes.

I’d spent 3 months in the UK, mainly procrastinating. To kick-start everything again, a few weeks ago (with very little thought) I booked a flight from London (Luton) to Krakow (Katowice). I thought that flying would be a quick way to get me back to Europe.

During the period in-between, I went to Sheffield and decided to stay a bit longer, so I pushed my flight back a week. I had booked an airport transfer through WizzAir, so I emailed them to update my transfer. 5 days passed and I heard nothing. With 2 days to go, I emailed them again, hoping I’d get a response before the day of my flight.

The night before my flight I decided to actually figure out the transport plan for the next day. I hadn’t heard back from WizzAir, so I knew I’d just have to try and get the bus anyway. The flight was at 8.10am. Seemed like a good idea at the time. I had a look at the transfer, 5am from London Victoria. Ouch. No tube options could get me there by 5am. James at Monkeys gave me the good idea of catching a nightbus. Still, I had to get up at 3.45am. Didn’t think that one through.

I barely got to sleep at all that night. I woke up a few minutes early, and thought I may as well just get up and head out. I put my stuff together and walked out the door, and the 207 was already at the stop – 15 minutes before (or after) it should have been there. Happy that I was “early”, I followed my plan, got off at Marble Arch, and walked to Victoria. I ended up getting to the coach at 4:50. If I hadn’t have got up those few minutes earlier, I would have missed my transfer. It was still unsettling to know I only made it due to luck. I jumped on the bus, and of course, my ticket was invalid – I had to buy another. This was a minor inconvenience, but it’s the incompetence of WizzAir that really pissed me off. Wasted money is one of my pet hates, so now I was feeling angry.

I got to Luton before 6am. Boarding closes at 7:40, so I had almost 2 hours – at least I could relax. I sat down and ate breakfast, then it clicked – I was at Luton. I thought it was better to be safe and just get through to departures, so I went to the bag drop, and queues were passed the cafes. Took me over half an hour to just drop off my bag. I then went to security, and again, queues for miles on end. I got to security and they told me I had a liquid in my bag. I racked my brain and figured it out – ah, must be my emergency hand sanitizer. They took it off me and rescanned my bag. There was still something in there. I dug through my bag and found it; my ridiculously overpriced €13 sunscreen from France. I completely forgot. They took that too. I fucked up. Still, I was starting to get angrier.

I barely made it to the gate by 7:40. But of course, there was a gigantic queue and we didn’t even start boarding for another 30 minutes. These queues were getting on my nerves. I found a Foursquare tip that summed it up perfectly: “Best tip for Luton is to try and fly out of Heathrow”.

The flight itself was ok. I landed in Katowice, and went to the bathroom. I found it ironic that the soap was out; the one time I actually needed my hand sanitizer. I went to the info desk and asked them for the best way to get to Krakow. They pointed me outside. There was a little schedule on the stand that said the bus was due at 12:00, and 15:30. It was 11:55. Great! I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited till 12:30. Nothing. I went back inside, and they told me it needed to be booked in advance. Thanks for telling me that when I asked. Now I need to wait another 3 hours? No thanks. I looked on the map and realised how far Katowice was from Krakow. I was not close to where I needed to be. I decided there and then to go to Katowice instead as the bus was at 13:00.

Drained, I just slumped down in a chair for a few minutes, thinking This is too much. I’ve had no sleep and I’ve been travelling for 8 hours. I’ve got another hour and a half till I get to Katowice, and it’s not even near to where I need to be. I burst out crying.

I get angry, annoyed, and upset. I don’t cry. Yet I couldn’t stop this. I felt at the bottom of the world. I felt like staying in Katowice, and booking the next flight home. I felt like ending travelling completely. There was a photo of a frog in front of me. Every time I almost stopped crying, I looked up and saw the frog, and started crying again. Fuckin’ frog. Perhaps that frog doesn’t have to deal with shit like this.

It’s funny looking back on things like this. After writing it all down, I don’t see what the problem was. It was just waiting. I fucked up a few things, which were causing me delays. That’s not a real problem. I wasn’t stranded. I wasn’t out of money. It was just waiting. And it was the middle of the day, so I still had all day to get to Krakow. I’ve been in much worse situations before. But I know how I felt at that moment in time, and I really did feel bad. All the pressures of the day amounted to more than I could cope with, and it got to me.

The bus to Katowice came at 13:00, and it was fine. Looking out the window & seeing I was getting somewhere started to make me feel better. The bus terminated at the train station, which is where the train to Krakow departs. That was a win. It also had a McDonalds and Starbucks. Things were starting to look up.

After my McDonalds, I was feeling much better, laughing at how bad I’d felt just a few hours before. I went to Starbucks and sat my bag down on a bench seat. As I ordered, I noticed someone sit on the seat, about 1 metre from my bag, and do the most awkward lean putting their arm closer to my bag. I don’t like to judge, but this guy looked dodgy. I instantly sat back down, casually took my bag, and picked up my coffee. About 1 minute later security came and started yelling at the guy. I wasn’t imagining things, this guy was out to steal my shit. They grabbed him by the neck and took him outside. Then I felt sorry for him. Still, I laughed it off as a learning lesson, rather than letting it get me down. Had that’ve happened at the airport, I’d probably have been on a plane to Melbourne.

The train to Krakow was supposed to depart from Platform 2 at 15:14. I had ample time and waited until it was due, but nothing was approaching. There was a train on the opposite platform which had been waiting for about 10 minutes. I decided to actually look at the monitor for that train… And it was my train. It had been moved. But it was due to depart now. I ran downstairs, and the escalator was broken, so I had to run further to the stairs, sprinted up, jumped inside the door and it locked behind me. Fuck! It took just over 2 hours to Krakow. I saw heaps of abandoned factories – just my type of thing. That made me happy. I got to the hostel, and they didn’t have my reservation. By this stage I was just laughing at how wrong the day was. Luckily they managed to fit me in, having to move rooms once during my 7 night stay.

Comfortably in my room, I dropped my bags, and went wandering with a bit of evening sunlight to boot. A 2 hour flight had turned into a 13 hour trek. Flying, especially from out-of-the-way airports, takes much longer than you’d expect. Next time I’ll take the bus.

Hello London

By Christian Varga. , in United Kingdom

My first week in London proved to be a lot easier than I thought it would. Being a bit of a lone soldier by default, the idea of travelling solo didn’t bother me that much. Still, I was interested to see just how long I’d be able to cope on my own. This became instantly irrelevant as I met new people at the hostel every day, and spent most of my time wandering around London with them – exploring the sights and chilling out all night. Since then a lot of people have commented on how difficult it must be to travel alone, and I completely disagree. Everyone’s in the same boat; the majority of people in hostels are very open and happy to chat and hang out with new people. Travelling solo pushes you out there to talk to people and make new friends (or in my case, solve rubiks cubes until people come and talk to you). And they do. Sometimes you make friends just for the day, sometimes you make life-long friendships. But it’s a very rare case if you don’t meet people while travelling.

I must admit, I had a really weird feeling about London. The more I wandered around, the more it felt like a second home. I became comfortable with the tube and was flying across the city in no time. While looking for food, I noticed that pre-packaged sandwiches/meals were covering the shelves of Tescos/Sainsburys/etc. You wouldn’t dare eat a pre-packaged sandwich from a 7/11 back home, but here it seemed to be the norm – and cheap for £3 in the meal deal. Then I got addicted to them. Every way I turned, I saw amazing fashion. Everyone looked good.

I started noticing differences in culture, shopping, and the like. People say you should embrace cultures – and I do – but it’s still interesting to note how things change. The notes are paper, and massive. A £20 note doesn’t even fit in my wallet. You can’t order a small meal at McDonalds, and you can’t order a double quarter pounder. Damn. KFC is rubbish (especially the chips), and you can get better tasting chicken from one of your 30 local bargain chicken chain stores (£2.50 for a burger, chips, and drink). As a bonus it probably causes cancer too. Hungry Jacks is pretty much the same, but it’s not Hungry Jacks – it’s Burger King. Pizza Hut still have sit-down restaurants, and their pizzas actually taste good. Drinks are cheap - £4 ($6) for a pint would be expensive. Cheap clothes are everywhere; Primark and H&M sell clothes at big-w prices that actually look good. You can ride bikes without helmets, so the bike hire scheme actually works. Parks are everywhere. Around every corner you’ll find a public park, and they’re fucking amazing. They make you forget you’re in a big & otherwise cold feeling city. The UK does parks really well.

So I spent a lot of time riding bikes, chilling out in parks, and buying clothes & shoes that I soon realised I couldn’t carry. I’ve shipped so much stuff home it’s ridiculous.

I guess people who’ve travelled a lot get used to things like this, but London smelled different. Every day I woke up and it got me excited. I felt more alive. It pushed me out the door to get exploring. And luckily I landed in the hottest week of Summer – a few days of 30 degree weather felt amazing coming out of Melbourne’s winter. I laughed as I got sunburnt.

Time absolutely flew by, and before I knew it I already had to extend my stay at Monkeys for another week. I continued exploring as the weather gradually got worse, and I learnt that a week of high twenties is record-breaking weather. Overcast & average weather ensued as I decided it was time to move on. Next stop: Bath.

Where it all began…

By Christian Varga. , in United Kingdom

It was a cold and drizzly evening in the heart of Melbourne’s winter. I stood outside, hunched over with my hands in my pockets trying to stay warm. My father waved, said goodbye, got in the car, and drove off. I stood there and watched his car disappear into the distance. And that was the moment it hit me. I put my head into my hands and burst into tears. What the fuck am I doing?

It hadn’t really phased me before. 3 months earlier I’d booked my one-way ticket to London. I’d never been out of Australia, yet I didn’t do much planning, I didn’t organise an itinerary. I had no idea where I was going. I didn’t even look at a tube map. I wasn’t even bothered.

But that moment sparked the realisation that this was the last time I’d see my parents for a long time. My coworkers. My friends. Everyone and everything I’ve ever known. And I like my friends, I didn’t want to lose them. I had good work opportunities coming up. What will happen to those? Will I last? How long will I be gone? Will I be happy? What if I’m not?

In hindsight, it’s almost laughable how I felt. I was absolutely shit-scared. I doubted myself. I told everyone I’d be gone for around a year, but really I had no idea, and I thought it would be sooner. I didn’t know why I was doing it, and I constantly asked myself it it was the right decision. Hell, my doubts even came down to the weather – I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stand the cold of Europe’s Winter, so I had a loose plan to travel back to Australia for the summer. Of course, this didn’t happen (in fact I love snow, but let’s leave that for another post). These are ridiculous doubts, but you always fear what you don’t know. And I knew nothing about travelling, backpacking, living out of home, and being a foreigner.

I organised to stay the night at Daniel’s place, and he’d drive me to the airport the next day. I can’t even believe it myself, but I actually managed to get a decent sleep. Everything was a-ok, until we got to the departures drop, then we had a couple of tears and parted ways. I turned around, bag on my back, looked up, and tried to figure out where to go. I’ve only been to an airport twice in the past 8 years, and I’ve never flown internationally! I got myself together, lugged my crap to the check in desk, and watched my bag disappear. I started shaking. This is happening. I made my way to security, but before I got anywhere alarms started sounding – it wasn’t a drill. I refused to accept this would happen today, so I stayed put as people started to evacuate. I waited a good 10 minutes, then the alarm stopped, and no one had any idea what happened. But everyone rushed back, so I followed suit, went through security, and boarded the plane.

The 27 hour flight was something straight out of the Satanic Bible. Three 8-hour legs with a few hours inbetween each stop. I watched countless movies, tv shows, and listened to my John Legend discography about 20 times. Luckily I met a couple of awesome fellow travellers, Bill and Natalie. We hung out at both of the stopovers (Brunei and Dubai), and they put my mind at ease. It was such a great relief when we finally arrived in London at 6am, the weather was good even that early in the morning, and good weather always makes you feel better. Considering I hadn’t slept at all, I didn’t feel too bad, but I definitely looked a little worse for wear.

Christian, Bill, and Natalie

My Mum had organised my journey to the hostel all for me, thanks Mum! It was easy. Take the Picadilly line from Heathrow (there’s only one line, going one way) to Hammersmith, and then change to a Hammersmith & City line for 2 stops. Simple. I got on the tube and enjoyed the journey, and I laughed when we exited a tunnel as I assumed the entire tube system was underground. After all, it is called the Underground. But it wasn’t, so I enjoyed the views, which where starkly different to anything I’ve ever experienced in Australia. The architecture was amazing, everything looked so old, and beautiful. I decided to check where I was, so I glanced up and took a look at the map and saw this. Gulp.

tube

What is this cryptic shit? I’m used to a few different lines going in opposite directions, and perhaps a little loop (ah the good old city loop), but not this. If I got this wrong, who knows where I’d end up. But still, I managed to figure it out, and got off at the right station (and let’s face it, I’m a half-pro at the tube now – but again that’s another story).

I walked up Uxbridge road in the beautiful sunny weather (which is rare for summer in London), and I ended up getting lost. I hadn’t written down any directions, and I couldn’t get the internet working on my phone. Shit. I called my mum and tried to get help, but she couldn’t get her maps out in time, and it was costing me a fortune, so I hung up and tried to figure it out myself. I was stressing big time, I’m in an unfamiliar place, a new country, I’m totally lost, and I don’t know anyone. I approached a guy on the street and asked him if he knew where Becklow road was. He loaded up maps on his phone and showed it to me. With a new sense of direction, I made my way to the Greyhound – the home of the Monkeys in the Trees hostel. I met Bart at reception, checked in, and with a massive weight lifted off my shoulders, sat down and did some work.

Writing this 8 months later gives me a chance to reflect on how my attitudes, fears, and approaches to problems have changed since I first started travelling. Nowadays, getting lost in random cities is something that not only happens, but something that I make happen. I don’t just want to see the same sights and do the same things as every other traveller, so getting lost became an integral part of my life. But that story’s for another time, because this story… Well, this story is about where it all began.

Motivation

By Christian Varga. , in 30 Day Blog Challenge

My last post touched on doing things you want to do without hesitation and procrastination. In theory this idea sounds good, but there’s still another piece to the puzzle. Motivation.

To be able to do anything, you need motivation. Think you don’t have it? Think again. You’re reading this post, which requires motivation. You got out of bed (hopefully), that also requires motivation. But the harder things are, the more motivation you need to do them. And sometimes it can be really hard to get motivated.

While there’s countless ways to get motivated, I’ve found three things that seem to really work well together. It may seem simple, but as we know the simplest answers are usually the best. As a quick scenario so we can apply this knowledge, let’s take an example of someone wanting to start working out and changing their body for good.

The first type of motivator is called a towards motivator, also known as pleasure. This type of motivation lets you set goals targeted towards desirable outcomes. These are things you want to get to. Some goals in our example could be to have a certain level of visible fitness, be able to run a certain distance, reach a certain desired weight etc.

The second type is called an away from motivator, also known as pain. This type of motivation sees you moving away from certain things that cause you grief, so for example, you might want to not be the fat person any more, or you might not want to be the person who always gets puffed out first etc.

Does this matter? You bet. There are quite a few things we need to consider about both. Some people are highly motivated by pain, because pain is such a strong feeling that we as humans tend to remember for much longer than pleasure (and with greater intensity too). So the idea of moving away from pain can really push people. However, towards motivators allow you to set clear & positive goals, which would otherwise be quite difficult and fluffy when using away-from motivators. And when you’re moving towards a clear cut goal, it can be extremely rewarding feeling that sense of achievement when you finally do hit the goal.

But the mother of all motivation strategies is accountability. Accountability means becoming responsible for your actions in the eyes of others. If you don’t tell anyone you want to start working out, you’re only letting yourself down if you don’t (and as I’ve previously mentioned, we’re very good at justifying missed opportunities). But holding yourself accountable, posting about it on a forum, or even better on Facebook, is really going to push you. Because not many people can stand the shame of not even trying after they’ve told people they’re going to do something.

Being accountable might just be the motivation that pushes you over the edge. Post something you want to do on your facebook/blog/twitter/fridge right now. Unless you enjoy letting your friends down, there’s no turning back.

Just do it™

By Christian Varga. , in 30 Day Blog Challenge

Just do it. Whatever you’re thinking about doing, do it now.

So many people have so many excuses for not doing amazing things. You’ve all heard it before, someone suggests they’d like to do something a little out there, then comes the “I would do it, but…”. “It’s raining”. “It’s too difficult”. “I just can’t right now”. The list goes on, you know the drill. And there you are, thinking that they should do it or shut up and stop complaining. Then you get home at 10pm and say to yourself “Oh, it’s 10pm, probably too late to go for a run. Might just watch some TV instead”. And somehow, in your mind, that’s justified. It shouldn’t be.

If you want to do something, just do it. Don’t ever hesitate. Don’t ever overthink it. Just do it. Want to visit a new country? Just pack up and go. The old you would still be “trying to decide” by the time you get back and put your life back together in better condition than when you left. Planned to go for a run but got home 3 hours late? Don’t sit there and think about whether you still have time, get out there and you’ll be back before you watched 2 episodes of Futurama. Wanted to do Steve Hopkins blog a day challenge in March but you’re 5 days late, it’s 1am and you need to be up at 7? You’ve already missed out. Might as well not do it all, right? Nice try, but you’re not getting away that easy.

Now, I know it’s easy to say just do whatever you want, but when it comes down to it, actually making that choice and performing an action without procrastination is still extremely difficult. For something like packing up and visiting a new country, ok, I understand, that’s not easy. But going for a run? Talking to someone new? Changing your career? Deciding to go to the gym? Why is it so hard to do things that for the most part have positives that massively outweigh the negatives? And what allows us to live with ourselves when we constantly miss out on great opportunities? Well, the answer probably isn’t far off what you’re thinking. Whatever it is you want to do, it’s easier not to do it, and that’s the cold hard fact. After all, we are creatures of habit, so the more often we procrastinate, the longer we do it for, and the more situations we apply it to. Until nearly every task is met with procrastination, and your mind is conditioned to not want to try new things. And after you’ve seen an opportunity, let the procrastination take over, and missed a chance, your mind tries justify the act of not doing it with excuse, “oh it was too late”. “oh the job probably wouldn’t have been that good”. “oh the gym costs too much anyway”. Fluff. Lies that make you feel better, but are still lies. Or at best mistruths, because you truly never know what you’ve missed out on.

What you have to consider is the potential cost of not doing something. I’m not just talking pure monetary value, but an overall cost of lifestyle, happiness, and opportunity. Take a hypothetical networking event where you could be talking to a big name in the industry. You’re comfortable where you are, with the people you know, so you don’t have to do it. The cost of doing it is perhaps anywhere from 5-30 minutes of your time. The potential cost of not doing it is missing out on one of the biggest contracts you have ever got for your business; the one that sets you off on your way to becoming a multi-million dollar company. Or  lets take the simple example of going to the gym. The cost is ~$20 and 4 hours a week. The potential cost of not doing it is being unfit and unhealthy with a less-than-average body, not sleeping well, not being happy with yourself, and not meeting amazing people who are there to make the most out of their body and life.

For most situations a simple cost/benefit analysis will prove to yourself that most things you want to do in life — but constantly make excuses for — have far greater positive outcomes than negatives. You’ll even find that many situations don’t have any real negatives at all, just perceived negatives. This is something I might touch on in a later post. For now, stop procrastinating on all the things you want to do, remind yourself what you’re potentially missing out on, and get to it!